Turn Your Sex Fantasy Into a Reality

Can talking about your sexual fantasies help you in the bedroom? Here's an interesting take on the subject from IOL:

In our too-much-information world, we assume that an honest relationship should include disclosing intimate desires. But must we swap every thought that flits into our mind? I have the urge to tell, but not the courage (yet). And will confessing my fantasies usher in deeper understanding and better sex? It could go badly, too. (Will he wonder if I'm thinking about Ranger Rick instead of him?)
Deciding to open up isn't an easy call.
"Fantasising is a way to explore your sexuality that's free of consequence," says Jenny Bivona, doctoral candidate in clinical psychology.
"Physiologically, erotic imagery typically increases desire and speeds arousal." For the uninhibited, discussing erotic imagery is a quick way to get in the mood.
"Some couples love to discuss their fantasies," says Dr Stella Resnick, a clinical psychologist. "They find it a turn-on. It's playful and flirtatious, which is great for sex."
But will Steve find it playful and flirtatious that, during our relationship, I've been mauled by other men? Will my stories make him doubt my attraction to him?
"My husband is stung by any fantasies I mention," says my friend J, a writer. "But it's not like I'm actually going to have sex with Tiger Woods! In the spirit of try, try again, I revealed another: being with two men at once. He gaped at me like he wanted to leap out of bed."
The difference between playful and threatening depends on your partner and your relationship, explains Dr Sarah E Wright, expert on sexual fantasies. Her advice: "Before you share, ask, 'Do I trust my partner? Does he respect me?'" Logic might dictate that open-minded, confident, sexually informed men would be most receptive.