BadJocks Stories From the Week of May 23, 2004

Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle - If you'd like to learn how to lose body fat permanently--even in your mushiest spots--without drugs, without supplements and without screwing up your metabolism, then this will be the most important report you'll ever read. Results guaranteed or your money back!

Fresh Eruption of HS Coach Sex Scandals! 
Is it the warmer weather, the short, skimpy uniforms the girls wear . . . or are men just pigs? Whatever the reason, the number of HS Coach Sex Scandals takes a giant leap forward, hitting the 124 mark for the year. Keep in mind in ALL of 2003 we reported on only 167. At this rate, we should easily approach 300 for the year. Scary, isn't it?
#125 - One For the Archives, Boys: It's the NutSack NutJob - A gymnastics coach at Mt. Spokane High School has resigned after it was revealed that he approached an espresso stand three times in June of 2002. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Try picturing the middle-aged coach, John Stump, doing that in nothing but a G-string. Unfortunately for Stump, his little underwear parade may have gone un-reported except for the fact that the girl who worked at the stand was a HS student who recognized him from his coaching activities. For his part, Stump says he was "going through a hard time in his life."
#124 - Wisconsin girls soccer coach caught taking 15-year-old player to Mexico for "surprise vacation" . . . on a bus? 28-year-old Alberto J. Mendoza has been charged with having a sexual relationship with a girl he coached, beginning when she was 15. The girl's family thought something was wrong when her father went to pick her up at Waukesha North High School after an away soccer match. He couldn't find her and hours later learned from one of the girl's friends that she was actually in Chicago on a bus with Mendoza bound for Mexico. Dallas police stopped the bus and girl told them that she and Mendoza had sex in his car after soccer practice on more than 10 occasions, and that they also had sex repeatedly in his home after school . . . before his wife returned home with the couple's two children.
#123 - Brian Dragisic, an assistant football coach at Reading High School, was charged with three counts of rape of a 13-year-old student.
#122 - Robert Arthur Boroughs, football coach at Kenston Forest School in Blackstone, VA arrested on charges of molesting a 14-year-old boy. Boroughs is also the former chairman of the New Kent Board of Supervisors . . . whatever that is.
#121 - Former UK Davis Cup member/Wimbledon over-35s doubles champion Nick Fulwood suspended from his tennis coaching job following a police investigation into an alleged sexual assault on a 14-year-old girl. 
#120 - Junior HS girls' basketball coach arrested for allegedly having sex with one of the team's players. Keith Exel, 21, coached Bloom-Carroll Junior High School and is charged with two counts of unlawful sexual conduct with a minor who was a 14-year-old middle school student. (Thanks to Mark Miller for the link!)

Computer Running Slower? Could be Spyware - With a free scan you can quickly find out if your PC is infected. Don't let shady Internet companies infect your PC by putting spyware or adware on it without you knowing! Download SpyWare Nuker for free and see for yourself.  Bob Reno used and approved!

Australian Rugby Player Fined $50,000 for Drunken Obscene Phone Call - It was supposed to be a night of training camp bonding . . . and drinking . . . for Mark Gasnier and his St. George Illawarra teammates. It turned out to be one of the most expensive phone calls every made by a professional athlete. Apparently, Gasnier borrowed the cell phone of a teammate (who wasn't supposed to have it at the training camp) at 3 o'clock in the morning and left a rambling, obscene message on the voice mail of a 27-year-old Sydney woman. The National Rugby League must not have liked what it heard on the tape, because they not only suspended him, they also slapped Gasnier with a $50,000 fine.  

BadJocks Update: Teen Who Got Crybaby Award From Coach Gets School Sportsmanship Trophy Named After Him (Thanks to David Ivey for the tip on the story!)

UK Soccer Hooliganism in the News - Record number of troublemakers--more than 2000--will be banned from traveling to Portugal this summer for Euro 2004.

Thanks for the Help! Thanks to the assistance of several BadJocks readers we have managed to locate the website of Tom Taylor who makes game pieces for a table top soccer game, popular in the UK, known as Subbuteo. We did a story on Tom earlier in the week because he makes some unique game pieces, in addition to the usual soccer players and referees included in traditional sets: he also includes little tiny streakers (male and female) and corresponding gender cops to chase them. At right are slightly edited photos of the male and female streakers and I have to save I don't think we have ever posted a funnier image on BadJocks in the four years I've been doing this site. To see the unedited pictures or order game pieces, you can find Tom's site here. (Link may not be safe for work.)

HS Girls Track Team + Booze + Long Bus Ride Home = Trip to the Hospital and Suspensions - Eight members of the Exeter High School girls track team were suspended for ten days after showing up drunk to a school dance on May 14 after allegedly getting liquored up on the bus ride back from a track meet at Portsmouth High School. One boozer suffered from alcohol poisoning and had to be hospitalized and as yet unnamed adult is being investigated for providing the alcohol to the teens. (Thanks to Fark.com for the link!)

Car Wash Attendant Raps on Football Coach's Windshield, Coach Knocks His Teeth Out - There must be more to this story, but so far, no one is really talking. All we really know is that University of Indianapolis strength and conditioning coach Cleveland "Don't Touch My Car" Witherspoon (pictured, right) was arrested last week on accusations he broke a car wash attendant's jaw. According to police, the attendant rapped on the windshield of Witherspoon's car to get Witherspoon's attention and the next thing he knew, the attendant was missing several teeth. The report goes on to say that they also found two handguns and ammunition in Witherspoon's car which he did not have permits for.

High School Seniors Banned From Graduation Ceremony for "Senior Highlights" DVD With Wet T-Shirt Contest Photos - Plus, Jewel tells crowd, "stop looking at my teeth and look at my breasts!" And an Australian Member of Parliament drunkenly slaps friends around on an airplane. These and other tales of stupidity at the DumbassDaily.com

Inventor's Table Top Soccer Game Includes Streakers and Cops Chasing Them - Tom Taylor produces game pieces for a popular table top soccer game in the UK known as Subbuteo . . . only some of this pieces are a bit "unique." Says Taylor, "They've got all the bits. The women have got nipples and the blokes have got all the parts there." He, of course, is referring to tiny figurines of streakers, inspired when he saw one at an actual soccer match back in 1998. I've read this story three times and still can't figure out how it's played, but according to Taylor, "Subbuteo is a flicking game. You flick figures around so you can easily organize a streaker chase, with the streaker having a flick and the policeman having a flick until the policeman hits the streaker and he's deemed to be arrested." I would show you a picture, but none of the stories I've found about this guy have a link to his website. Anyone?

Mike Danton "Murder for Hire" Bombshell: Agent Could Be Charged! The federal judge overseeing the bizarre murder-for-hire case of NHL player Mike Danton has indicated that his agent, David Frost, could face charges of obstructing justice for trying to coach Danton through an insanity defense! FBI agent John Jimenez testified that Frost, sometimes speaking in code because he knew the conversations were taped, tried to coach Danton to "act emotional, act insane'' as a way to avoid prison. The judge also ordered Danton to remain in jail, saying he was potentially dangerous and a risk to flee. (At right, a photo of the only agent named Dave Frost listed on the NHL Player's Association web page.)

#119! Spencer Davis, former wrestling coach at Woodlands High School in New York pleaded guilty to an Internet sex crime and will be sentenced to four weekends in jail and five years' probation. Davis thought he was sending sending indecent images to a teenager who was actually an undercover officer. 
#118! Rayshawn E. Mars, the former soccer coach at Marshall High School in Missouri, faces felony charges, including statutory rape, following accusations he had intercourse with a 14-year-old student back in July of 2003.

Super Bowl Streaker Strikes Again - Mark Roberts, most famous for streaking this year's Super Bowl, has struck again, this time interrupting a UEFA Cup final. Apparently, he was sporting the "GoldenPalace.com" markings again, which have become synonymous with streaking at sporting events in recent years. Warning, link contains the image of topless woman bearing GoldenPalace.com information on her chest. It's totally unrelated to the story, but interesting nonetheless.

Coming Soon to FOX: "The Littlest Soccer Hooligan" - It's the touching tale of a 10-year-old boy who was arrested as part of a UK soccer riot that broke out after the Portsmouth vs. Southampton match on March 21. But you don't have to worry about the Littlest Soccer Hooligan being alone: more than 300 people were involved in the post-game violence which saw police being pelted with missiles, shops looted and cars attacked. So far, 32 adults have been charged in connection with the incident, so the LSH will have plenty of company in the slammer.

Cops Witness University of Arizona Player Tag Man in Head With Beer Mug in Bar Parking Lot - Wildcats defensive tackle Brad Brittain has been arrested in Los Angeles on suspicion of assaulting a man with a beer mug, The victim suffered an inch-long gash on his left cheek, got stitches and was later released from the hospital.

"I'm Innocent!" - Garth McGimpsey, captain of Great Britain's Walker Cup Team was arrested this week after more than $180,000 worth of cocaine was reportedly sent to his home in Northern Ireland. (Party on Garth!) While McGimpsey's lawyers wouldn't let him explain how this "mix-up" occurred, he did insist that he would be found innocent of the charges. Ironically, McGimpsey was to receive an MBE (Member of the British Empire) honor from the Queen at Buckingham Palace next week in recognition of his services to the game of golf. My guess is they'll postpone the ceremony.

Top Seeded HS Tennis Player Forfeits Tournament to Protest Other School's "Stacking" - Long Reach junior Michael Duong refused to play the match in this week's region tournament to protest what he perceived was the prohibited "stacking" of lineups by other schools during the regular season.

Judge Let's 'Canes Prized Recruit Go to Prom, Despite Violations of House Arrest - Remember Willie Williams, the highly sought after football recruit who shot off some fire extinguishers at a hotel in Gainesville, Florida where he was paying a visit to the U of Florida (which he later stiffed) and it turned out that it made him violate probation from a previous offense? Well, he's been spending the last few months under house arrest wearing one of those ankle monitors . . . only he keeps setting the damn thing off by going outside to talk to friends or take out the garbage. (Take out the garbage? Sure.) Well, despite those violations and the objections of the prosecuting attorney, a judge has decided that Williams can attend his HS prom, but needs to be driven there and back by his football coach. I think he's a earned a good-night kiss, don't you?

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