Top Ten Bad Jock Stories of 2006 - Includes Bad Jock of the Year!
Top HS Coach Sex Scandals of 2006
Top Naughty Cheerleaders of 2006
Top Naked People in Sports of 2006
Top Sports Hazings of 2006

"Best $39 I Ever Spent" - Woman claims that the Idiot Proof Diet helped her lose over 50 lbs, got rid of her heart burn, and cleared up problems with her gallbladder. Read her amazing story here.

How do you pick among ALL of the strange stuff that took place in sports last year? These are in no particular order.

Young Man, We Can See You're Nuts: NJ Court Throws Out HS Basketball Player's Yearbook Photo That Accidentally Gave School Glimpse of His Weiner - How embarrassing would it be to have part of your genitals exposed to the world in an otherwise harmless yearbook picture of you in your basketball uniform? Even if you were able to retrieve every copy (except for one "legal" one) would you be trying to sue anyone involved FOUR YEARS LATER? Well apparently, young Tyler Bennett wanted to, but the New Jersey Superior Court has finally tossed out his 2002 lawsuit filed against the entire Freehold Regional Board of Education, superintendent James Wasser, the principal and vice principal of Colts Neck High School, teacher Deena Clark, yearbook advisor Al Sinclair, the publishing company that put out the yearbook and several fellow students who worked on the yearbook. In the suit, Bennett stated that he suffered from emotional distress and that "the publication of a photograph of the genitalia of someone who did not consent to that publication is an invasion of that person's privacy, even if that person was in a public area when the photograph was taken." The court disagreed, ruling that there was no evidence that anyone named in the lawsuit acted with malice toward Bennett. Case dismissed! (Asbury Park Press)

You've Been Warned! Don't Mess With Japanese Golf Instructors - You know you've thought about it in the past: telling your Japanese golf instructor that you're quitting the game and are sick and tired of with his "Mr. Miyagi" teaching methods. ("Wax on" and "wax off"? What the hell does that have to do with hitting a fairway wood? Pay for a car wash for once, will ya?) So you summon all your courage and tell him it's over and walk away . . . or so you think. For one young Japanese golfer, the nightmare was just beginning at that point as pro Toshimitsu Hiruma refused to let him leave. To help make the point, he also brought along two muscle-bound golfing buddies to a meeting where they tried to extort 10 million yen (about $13.87 American) from the poor guy. Police say that Hiruma was so infuriated with his pupil that he also verbally harassed the victim's 28-year-old wife, causing her to suffer from depression. Hiruma and his thugs have been arrested on extortion charges, but are expected to help the prison golf team win their league championship this year. (Mainchi)

Ethnic Minority Games Tainted by Cross-Dressing Cheats - What would ethnic games be without a little cheating, right? But this incident from China appears to be a new low for ethnic games everywhere. According to a report, athletes representing each of China's 55 ethnic minorities came to the southwestern province of Yunnan last week to compete in a variety of traditional sports, including horse-riding events and--we're not making this up!--blow-pipe darts. (Cover your necks!) One of the featured events though is the women's dragon-boat racing event. The final results had to be reviewed after athletes from one group complained that the winners were "big women with Adam's apples." Upon closer examination (no DNA testing at the Ethnic Minority Games, no sir!) referees found that several of the competitors were, in fact, men wearing wigs. Once the cheats were revealed, a gang of men from another ethnic tribe grabbed blades and sticks and chased the she-males from the event. (Scotsman)

Isn't That a Technical Foul? HS Girl Gives Birth Two Hours After Playing Last Game - Six on the court, maybe? Either way, it's pretty amazing that 18-year-old Kayla Alire, who plays for Mesa Vista High in New Mexico, claims she didn't even know she was pregnant and was going through labor pains during a game on February 18. Immediately after the game, Kayla gave birth to a 6-pound, 4-ounce baby boy no one knew was coming. According to some experts, it is possible for women who have irregular periods may not realize they're pregnant. Uh, huh. At left, a picture of Kayla Alire during a game on January 22, less than a month before she gave birth. (Free New Mexican)

Rival Soccer Fans Brawl at Toll Booth . . . and They Weren't Even Playing Each Other! - Now THAT'S a rivalry! In Argentina, four busloads of fans of the Boca Juniors team, returning from a Boca-Colon match in the town of Santa Fe, ran into two busloads of followers of Rosario Central around midnight Sunday at a toll booth returning from a Rosario-Banfield match in greater Buenos Aires. Words were exchanged, then rocks, and ultimately someone pulled out a gun and when it was all over, 121 soccer fans were arrested, 16 injured including three who were shot and one who was stabbed. (Toronto Star)

Un-Freaking Believable! Two HS Track Stars Expelled for Having Intercourse on School Bus Returning From Meet - What's even more bizarre is that earlier this week--over at DumbassDaily.com--we had a report of another school bus sex scandal involving some middle school students in Ohio coming back from a field trip. This one though, involved a male and female member of the Batesburg-Leesville High School Track team in South Carolina which was returning from a meet in nearby Summerville about two weeks ago. At some point during the ride, the two managed to have sexual intercourse despite the fact that there were numerous other student-athletes on the bus as well as four adults--including two coaches--who were supposed to minding the store but apparently none of them saw or heard ANYTHING. Why? They were all sitting at the front of the bus together. The school district now thinks it MIGHT be a good idea to disburse the adults throughout the bus. Genius I tell ya, genius! It took some outraged teammates to complain about the incident before the school started an investigation. Two of the coaches have been suspended and the students have been expelled. (WLTX)

Pawns Fly When "Anna Kournikova of Chess" Causes Geeks to Brawl on Dance Floor - Arianne Caoili is only 19, but she already has grown men fighting over her. And not just any adult males: chess grandmasters who are less likely to throw a punch in anger than Clay Aiken. But that's exactly what happened when British chess grandmaster Danny Gormally (top left picture) saw his email "girlfriend" dancing with the world's No. 3 player, Armenia's Levon Aronian (bottom left picture), at a nightclub during the World Chess Olympiad. According to one report, Gormally was later attacked by a group of young punk Armenian chess players bent on revenge. Ms. Caoili (pictured far right)  is part of a new breed of "hot" female chess champions that are changing the normally straight laced community. In fact, there are so many new attractive female chess grandmasters competing that Caoili--who is Filipino by birth--is only #7 on the World Chess Beauty Contest list. One member of the Top Ten, Maria Manakova, has even posed nude for a men's magazine, as previously reported on BadJocks. Nerds everywhere are reaching for their inhalers.(Sydney Morning Herald)

The Latest Cricket Brawl in Bangladesh Involved Cops and: A) Players, B) Fans, or C) Journalists? - If you said C you would be correct . . . and also be witness to another BadJocks first! You see, the day before the this incident, cops allegedly kicked and beat a cricket journalist who happened to wander in a forbidden area near the stadium during one of those multi-day cricket "tests." The next day, other local journalists started to protest their treatment by staging a sit-in on the field and, not surprisingly it turned into a brawl with the officers. By the time it was all over, several were injured, with at least two bleeding from the head. Thank you sir, May I have another! They left the grounds soon afterwards, following an agreement between by media members to boycott the series. (Guardian Unlimited)

Coach Asks Girl to Buy Her Weed Because She Was Sick & "Stressed" - We're not keeping up with the latest medical breakthroughs, but since when has smoking pot been know to ease the pain of "immune deficiency illness?" That's what school teacher and girl's tennis coach Laura "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time" Smith, 38, is trying to peddle to the press. According to police, Smith asked a 14-year-old girl in her class at New Paltz to buy her some marijuana and she did, returning the weed in a neatly wrapped present. Unfortunately, another student in the class (possibly with a nose for hemp) figured out what was going on and told school officials. For her troubles, the girl was suspended from school for six weeks, while Smith faces a misdemeanor charge of endangering the welfare of a child. In her defense, Smith admitted asking for the pot, but that she really needed it because, "School was stressful. That is why I did something very out of my character. I am a good person, but even good people do stupid things." (Times Herald-Record)

Father of the Year? Dad Punches Little Leaguer for Striking Out Twice - No wonder kids don't want to play baseball anymore! According to police, a nine-year-old youth baseball player was riding in the family car after a game with his father when dad, upset with his son's performance in the game, punched him in the face. When father and son arrived home and the boy's mother saw his black eye and fat lip and the woman asked her husband what she was supposed to tell the boy's teacher. The father allegedly replied that she should tell the teacher that the boy "didn't listen." Instead, mom went to a school counselor who called the police. (KETV)

British Politician Defends Country's Honor During Charity Soccer Game by Tackling Opposing Player From Germany in Groin . . . With His Head? - You've got to see this video! Soccer players do all sorts of bad things to each other, but we haven't seen this particular technique before. Boris Johnson, a 42-year-old member of Britain's Parliament was playing in a charity soccer game against Germany and seems to have gotten just a little carried away. As the German player in white starts running with the ball, Johnson quickly closes in and dives head-first into the guy, nailing him right in the groin. Johnson--apparently unharmed after using a unneeded part of his body--gets up after the collision as his counterpart writhes on the ground. When asked about his unique form afterwards,  Johnson said, "I'm a rugby player, really, and I knew I was going to get to him, and when he was about two yards away I just put my head down. There was no malice. I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move in soccer." (Scotsman.com) Watch the video below and decide for yourself. Either way, are you going to oppose him on an important vote in the future?

Star College Soccer Player Arrested During Game for Causing Fatal Accident on Way to Play - It was about 30 minutes into a soccer game for the San Francisco Celtic club team when the police pulled up. The referee stopped the game and pulled the players into a huddle and then the officers explained that they were investigating a recent traffic accident and thought one of the players might have been involved. To the team's surprise, Brian McCarthy, 19, who's alos a star player for Skyline College, stepped forward and said, "You guys are looking for me," and he was promptly arrested and lead off the field in handcuffs. McCarthy was later charged with vehicular manslaughter after causing an accident on his way to the game. (SF Gate)

Teen Busted by Mets for Pretending to Be Journalist - Come on, admit it: how many of you have considered getting a fake press pass so you could go into the locker room of your favorite team and get to meet the players up close? Well, 18-year-old Ryan Leli apparently is a man of action, not a daydreamer like the rest of you slackers. He apparently loved the New York Mets so much that he actually claimed to work for NBC Universal and also showed a fake NBC employee identification card to Mets management so that he could get press credentials. It worked. Unfortunately, running the scam once wasn't enough for young Ryan, and when he went back to the well a second time this week, the MLB team was waiting for him. Leli will now be charged with--wait for it--criminal possession of a forged instrument, falsifying business records, larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, criminal impersonation and criminal trespass. I think Maurice Clarett has fewer charges against him! (Houston Chronicle)

Internet Used to Arrange Pre-Game Soccer Brawl in Bulgaria Where Homemade Hand Grenades are Used - Soccer hooligans in Bulgaria are no longer willing to just show up drunk to games and duke it out with rival fans. That's like SO 15 minutes ago! No, the latest trend among fans in the former communist country is to threaten your rivals via email, then set up a time and place BEFORE the game to fight. It also appears that bringing baseball bats is also out of vogue as at least one fan in the town of Plovdiv brought a homemade hand grenade to the festivities. According to police, 17 people were arrested and at least two people were injured, one a cop and the other a 54-year-old man who just happened to be driving by when the fight started. Check your email next time pops! (Malaysia Sun)
BONUS: Soccer Hooligans Beware! Cops to Start Wearing Head Cams - In recent years, British police have used video cameras while wading through crowds of soccer hooligans, hoping to ID perpetrators later while looking at the footage. The only problem? It's a little hard to pepper spray someone and pin him to the ground with your knee pressed painfully in his lower back while holding a camcorder. The solution? Mount cameras on police officers heads, so they can get the footage they need, while still busting heads! If the technology works, thousands of assistant principals at American high schools are said to be interested in the technology. (This is Lancashire)

How's That Again? Indian Government Gives Cash Award to Runner Who Won Silver Medal at Asian Games, Then Failed Gender Test - Whip out your copy of Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady." The government of India was so proud of distance runner Santhi Soundarajan when she took second place in the 800 meters during the Asian Games (similar to the Olympics, but with better take-out food) that they decided to give her a cash award of Rs. 15 lakhs . . . which, according to my calculations is worth about 78 cents American. Still, it's interesting that they gave her even that much even AFTER finding out that she failed a gender test and will be stripped of her medal. What is a "gender test" you ask, and how can you get one at home as protection for all your Internet dates? Apparently, it's done by an expert medical evaluation panel which usually includes a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychologist, and an internal medicine specialist. And, after several hours of asking you questions, taking blood and doing DNA tests, they ask you to pull down your pants and look for a wiener. Apparently, at some point in that process (probably toward the end) it was found that Soundarajan "does not possess the sexual characteristics of a woman," so she either has to switch over to the men's team or stay home. The test was ordered after another woman in that race complained that they didn't think she was female. Another media report claimed Soundarajan had been refused employment in the Indian railways last year because its medical panel "was not satisfied about her gender." (Daily India) At right, a picture of Santhi Soundarajan.

HS Wrestler Charged With 21 Counts of Rape After Teammates Say He Was, Uh, . . . "Too Friendly" With Finger - The community was stunned when star wrestler Jerome Hunt of Parker High School (South Dakota) was arrested on 21 counts of rape and attempted rape. Since the accused and his 6 alleged victims were all minors, their names and details of the case were sealed, leaving townsfolk to assume that this case involved unwanted sex with young ladies. It apparently does not. A new report by KELO TV shows that the victims--so far--were all young men and teammates of Hunt's and the alleged rapes could be nothing more than a common wrestling move which, in the past, we've heard called "the Shocker." (Yes, we know there's another Shocker, but let's not go into that right now boys and girls.) According to the complaint, at least 21 times Hunt placed fellow wrestlers in a hold that then allowed him to put his finger in their rectum. On purpose. In fact, one of Hunt's former assistant coaches reportedly told investigators, "It's not something illegal or not taught. It's being taught all over." All but two of those incidents happened in the Parker High School wrestling room before practice during last year's wrestling season. The other two? On the team bus returning from a match. Apparently someone thought that something like that could happen accidentally 20 times, but when that 21st one comes around, you have to question if the guy might be doing it on purpose. On December 22 a judge will decide if Hunt will be charged in adult court where, if convicted, he could face 25 years in prison for EACH COUNT. (KELO) Thanks to Tony Lyons for the link!

Surfer Rage? Man Banned From Beaches After Assaulting Others - We always thought surfers were mellow live-and-let-live kinda guys. Apparently NOT down under where Australian John Vincent Dunne -- an alleged serial surf stalker (try saying that five times fast) - has been banned from setting foot on ANY of Sydney's beaches. Why? Well, according to cops, Dunne "mounted a campaign of intimidation" at a popular Northern Beaches break smashing surfboards and muscling out others who dared to ride the same waves that he did. (Not cool, dude!) In total he faces a whopping 29 counts of assault, stalking and malicious damage, and is accused of harassing as many as seven people - including an Anglican Minister. (Daily Telegraph)

U of New Mexico Basketball Player Suspended From Team After Unusual Drunk Driving Incident - Usually when college or pro athletes are arrested for DUI, the cops pull them over near some bar, they argue for a while and are eventually arrested. The case of New Mexico's junior forward Kyle Prochaska is anything but typical: police responded to a call about a car accident and found Prochaska passed out in the BACK seat of a 1989 Dodge Spirit that was wedged up against a chain-link fence and missing its left front tire! (Didn't we see this recently on COPs?) At that point, the officers tried to wake him up but he was uncooperative and when they asked Prochaska his name he only cursed at them. Not good. Requests to get out of the car were refused--obviously--so officers hat to use pepper spray on him which, of course, prompted the Nebraska native to start taking punches them. Even while he was in handcuffs in the back seat of the squad car, Prochaska continued to cause problems, spitting all over the vehicle to the point that officers had to cover his face with--I'm not making this up!--something called a "spit hood." Later Prochaska apologized to the officers and admitted that he had been playing a drinking game and was a "lightweight." And, although he admitted driving the car to the fence, he can't be charged with DUI "because he wasn't behind the wheel" when police caught him. (Albuquerque Tribune) At right, a picture of a spit hood in use. You can buy them for your next frat party here.

"Ghetto Prom" Email Gets Warrior Exec Fired - Have you ever sent an email to someone you shouldn't have or passed one along that wasn't in good taste? Well, image if you were Eric Govan, who's on the media relations staff for the Golden State Warriors, sent out an e-mail with the subject line "Ghetto Prom" and featuring a number of photos, many depicting scantily clad black teens in formal attire with a running commentary on their attire. And the email didn't go out to just anyone: it  was sent to dozens of newspaper reporters, columnists and sports editors, as well as television and radio stations. Oops! Govan claims it was meant for his wife, but that didn't help him as the NBA team fired him for the mistake. Not sure if these are the same pictures and captions as those in the email, but it is labeled "Ghetto Prom" and there are 16 photos and the captions are racially insensitive. Site may also be Not Safe For Work. (MSNBC)

Middle School Teacher Takes $1/Day Bribe From Kids to Get Out of Gym Class - It's an almost perfect scam: everyone gets what they want and no one gets hurt . . . unless you include the future health of our American youth, but that ship sailed a long time ago. Terence Braxton, 28, a gym teacher at Ward Middle School in Florida thought he had it all figured out: he'd collect $1 per day for allowing a kid to get out of class. No rope climbing, no dodge ball, no wedgies in the locker room. Nerds could avoid gym and he got to pad his meager teacher's salary, tax-free. According to the principal at the school Braxton may have collected more than $230 from about a half dozen students before some dimwit told his parents. Before you could say, "drop and give me 20," Braxton resigned his position and quickly left town. One source says several of the flabby middle schoolers tried to chase him down, but only managed about 10 steps before collapsing from exhaustion. (NBC 10)

Soccer Team Trades Player for . . . Animal Protein? And you always thought that the Little League trade where they got that right fielder for a catcher's mask and a bat to be named later was the worst trade ever. Hah! Turns out a Romanian second division soccer club called UT Arad sold one of its players, Marius Cioara, to the Regal Horia squad for--we're not making this up--15 kilograms of meat or roughly 30 lbs. Unfortunately, Regal Horia got the worst end of the deal as Cioara, tired of the rigors of second division Romanian soccer (and really, who isn't these days?) retired from the sport and ran off to Spain for a job in construction. Said a disappointed Regal Horia official, "We are upset because we lost twice - firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team's food for a whole week." (Reuters)

Off Duty Cop/B-Ball Coach Threatens to Arrest Referee for DUI After Giving Grade School Team Technical Foul - Wow! If only things like that worked in real life. Let's pretend you're an Indianapolis police supervisor who also coaches a 6th grade youth basketball team. During an "important" game (at that level, they're all important, right?) you disagree with the call that referee Shawn L. Shafer makes, especially since it results in a technical foul. So, if you are Michael Elder, a sergeant who patrols IPD's West District, the next logical step is to chest-bump the ref (allegedly) and then reportedly threaten to arrest him for drunken driving. It would have been great if that had worked, right? The ref waves off the T, gives your team the ball and your guys rally for the win! You could pull that little trick out during every game--or at least threaten to do so--and probably go undefeated and maybe, just maybe, go on to win the World 6th Grade Basketball Championship. That would be so cool. On the other hand, it might not work, in which case the referee would tell the league and also give a report to IPD's internal affairs unit. Damn! So close! (Indy Star)

Let's Play BadJocks Jeopardy! 
Answer: 57 Stitches to the Face. 
Question: What Do You Get After Driving a Stolen Golf Cart Into a Barbed Wire Fence? - Ouch! From our "That's Gonna Leave a Mark" Dept: six young men (four adults and two juveniles" decided it would be fun to break into The Wilderness Golf in Lake Jackson, Texas after dark and two of them decided to jump a barbed wire fence and take a golf cart. Daniel Martin Gaffney Jr., 17, and Jacob Larson, 18, then drove the cart into a gate that was topped with barbed wire and--you guessed it--the gate crashed down on them, cutting Larson in the face and hand. At the hospital he needed 57 stitches to close the wounds in his face and had to have the top knuckle of his thumb reattached. Gaffney and Larson have been charged with felony criminal mischief, while the others who were smart enough not to go for a joy ride in the dark were only charged with criminal trespassing. (The Facts)

Principal Allows Men, 23 and 30, to Attend High School . . . to Play Soccer . . . on Team He Also Just Happened to Coach - Principal Manny Touron didn't see anything wrong in letting two adults who were WAY past their teens to attend classes at Immokalee High School. According to a superintendent in the district, “Other than their age, there is no information that the former students posed a threat. They caused no trouble in school and that Principal Manny Touron did not believe the men were threats to the students. They were just over age.” This would seem like just another "bend the rules for the right reason" story, except for the fact that both of these men are pretty good soccer players and played on the Immokalee team, despite the fact that Florida High School Athletic Association rules state that you can't play HS sports if you're older than 19 years and 9 months. The school district confirmed that the 30-year-old played football last fall and soccer for the past three seasons, while a second adult, 23, played soccer from 2002-04. Just an oversight on the principal's part? Maybe, but he also coached the soccer team. (NewsZap)

New Zealand Rugby Player Starts Bar Brawl, Teammate Smacks Him With Woman's Handbag, Makes Him Cry - Rugby players and bar brawls are no strangers to the pages of BadJocks. They go together like soccer fans and rioting. So, when we heard that two New Zealand rugby players were involved in a bar brawl over the weekend, we weren't too impressed . . . until we found out they were fighting with each other and that the winner had used a women's handbag to make the other one cry. According to reports, it all started when Chris Masoe, who had been drinking in the bar with several other Wellington Hurricanes players, allegedly punched a patron in the face. According to the victim Masoe, who was--and we quote--"off his chops," tripped over the other guy's feet at the bar, got up and promptly punched him in the jaw. Before the victim could respond, the Hurricanes team captain, Tana Umaga, got involved and eventually knocked Masoe to his senses using the only weapon he could find available . . . a woman's handbag? The night of drunken rugby player fun ended with Masoe in tears and both men facing the possibility of team fines for the brawl. (CNN International)

MLB Pitcher Pulled Over for DUI: He and Female Companion Try and Hide From Cops in the Bushes - No episode of COPs would be complete without a short foot chase where the driver of a car that's been pulled over tries to make a run for it . . . . usually from the one cop on the force who used to be a college sprinter. Indians pitcher Scott "What Was I Thinking?" Sauerbeck found himself in a similar situation over the weekend, with a young woman--not his wife--at the wheel of a 1966 Lincoln convertible. Cops apparently spotted it driving erratically at 4 o'clock in the morning and tried to pull the vehicle over. The young woman driving the car, Lily Miller, allegedly tried to get away, pulled the car into some stranger's driveway and--according to police--she and Sauerbeck calmly walked into the backyard, then jumped a fence and hid successfully in the bushes for almost 45 minutes. When the cops finally booked the pair, Ms. Miller's BAC came in at a whopping .253% blood alcohol content, more than three times the legal limit . . . and enough to earn her a spot in the Top Ten of the BadJocks BAC Rankings. Although he wasn't behind the wheel, Sauerbeck was charged with obstructing official business and wrongful entrustment (apparently for letting a drunk chick drive his collectable car), while Miller was charged with obstructing official business and driving while intoxicated. After getting out on bond, the Cleveland lefthander told the media that, “In trying to do the right thing, I made a terrible error in judgment. It’s something I’ve I’m going to have to life with the rest of my life. I’m a big boy, and I’m going to have to deal with it.” Later, when asked to clarify what he meant by doing the “right thing," Sauerbeck would only add, “I’d love to, believe me, but legally, I can’t get into it.” At right, the mug shots of Scott Sauerbeck and Lily Miller. (Cleveland.com) Thanks to Brad H. for the link!

Soccer Team in Trouble for Observing Fake "Moment of Silence" - Sports fans, you've all been there at a game where a former player or coach has recently passed away and they observe a moment of silence in that person's honor before the festivities start. That recently happened in the UK when the GSK Phoenix team paused before a match against Ifield Edwards to pay their respects to a fallen comrade. It wasn't until AFTER the game that Ifield Edwards found out that the player wasn't really dead and the whole thing had been a prank. Of course, they didn't think it was funny and reported GSK Phoenix to the proper authorities who say they stunt brought the game of soccer "into disrepute" (a little late for that) and will likely suspend the team. Let's all bow our heads for a moment and reflect on the stupidity of GSK. Amen! (IC Surrey Online)

That Ain't Butter! NC State Students Forced to Urinate in Popcorn Buckets to Avoid Losing Seats During Overcrowded Football Games - Things have really gotten out of hand in the student section of Carter-Finley Field on the campus of North Carolina State University. No, it's not the usual drunken frat guys for scantily clad coeds that are the problem. It's urine. Popcorn buckets full of urine, apparently. According to an article in the student newspaper, the problem goes back to the University not increasing the size of the student section when they increased the number of seats in the stadium recently. So, being creative college students wanting to get into the party, the kids at NC State started printing up fake tickets and sneaking past stadium security, resulting in severe overcrowding in the stands. Combine that with an excessive amount of pre-game partying and you have a problem: how to relieve one's self without losing your seat. The solution is something the students call the "kernel urinal" which is nothing more than peeing into a paper bucket. Unfortunately, the urine doesn't necessarily stay in the buckets after that and surprisingly some of those in attendance at the games have complained about getting sprayed with the bodily fluid. The school is working on the problem and hopes to have it resolved before the next home game against Florida State on October 5, but just to be on the safe side, you may not want to wear your good shoes to the game. (Technician Online) Thanks to Ronnie for the link!

Sports Headline of the Year? "Deer-Jacked! Hunter is Held Up" - We've covered plenty of hunting and fishing stories on this site over the years, mostly outdoorsmen caught cheating to win cash or prizes. This time we have an innocent hunter in Meadville, Pa, who had just shot a doe from his deer stand and was climbing down when three men approach him with rifles. There to congratulate him on his fine marksmanship? Naw, they wanted his deer! According to Vernon Township Sgt. Randy Detzel, "It's an armed robbery and an assault. They knocked him to the ground and took his deer." The hunter, Robert Hanna, 42, is okay, but a bit confused, "If they wanted it so bad I would have said, 'Take it.'" (Detroit Free Press)

Bad Jock of the Year Finalist? Soccer Coach Hires Mobsters to Beat Up Slacking Players - Now there's a coaching technique they probably don't teach you in college! A Russian soccer coach thought several of his players weren't playing up to their potential after the team lost two early season games it probably should have won. In fact, the players and the coach actually accused each other of taking money to throw the games. That didn't sit well with the coach who then did what most of us probably would have done: he hired mobsters to beat the crap out of them. How bad was the beating? According to police, the team captain, goalkeeper and a striker all required hospitalization for their injuries, which included one concussion. No word yet on how motivated the remaining players are but we can guess they'll be giving it their full effort in the future. (IOL)

How Do You Settle a Soccer Game Dispute? Pound Your Opponent's Honda Civic With Golf Clubs, Of Course! - This story makes so little sense when you read it, and yet, most regular BadJocks readers will find it very believable. Two families in Sheboygan, Wisconsin got into a dispute at a soccer game almost two weeks ago. After simmering that long, you'd think the young men involved, ages 15, 17, 17, 18, 20 and 24, would want to solve it with guns, knives, baseball bats or even their bare fists. But not these guys: their weapon of choice were golf clubs. And no, they didn't look to bust any heads, just the Honda Civic owned by a member of the rival soccer family. Only well, these guys aren't two bright and they actually destroyed not one, but TWO other Civics (a 2004 and a ' 97) belonging to perfect strangers that just happened to be in the same neighborhood before they found the ' 99 model they were looking for. Unfortunately the owner of the 1999 Civic and a friend saw this all happen and were stupid enough to follow these idiots back their home turf an confronted them, were more vehicles (and people) were struck with the golf clubs before police arrived and arrested 8 members of the same family . . . and presumably confiscated any golf equipment. (Appleton Post-Crescent)

Holy Sh*t! UK Soccer Team Apologizes for Fans Throwing Human Excrement at Opposing Team, Spokesman Says Their Behavior May Have "Fallen Short" of Expected Standards - Ya think? Fans--especially European soccer fans--do a lot of stupid things over the course of a season: drinking, shouting obscenities, brawling, and throwing things. Usually batteries, sometimes other drunken fans. But when the fans of the Liverpool soccer team started throwing human excrement at opposing Manchester United fans well, a new low may have been set. Ged Poynton, stadium and operations manager for Liverpool, apologized last week for the incident, admitting standards of behavior for its fans had "fallen short" of that expected. Said Poynton, "I am ashamed to admit in one case excrement was thrown. How low can you get? We did what we could, we tried to brush people down and compensate those involved." Just how do you compensate someone who's had sh*t thrown at them? ESPN (Thanks to Fark.com for the link!)

Bad Pro Athlete of the Year: Michael Vick -  A Picture's Worth 1000 Words - You heard the story, saw the blurred TV footage, now experience the uncensored picture goodness as Falcons QB Michael Vick tells Atlanta fans "I think you're No. 1, too!". You can just feel the love, can't you?
The New "Michael Vick Experience?" Atlanta QB Loses, Flips Off Own Fans - Is he the new face of the NFL? The next Bart Starr or Roger Staubach? Not if he keeps doing crap like this. Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael "Ron Mexico" Vick had to issue an apology yesterday for making an obscene gesture--with both hands!-- toward Atlanta fans as he walked off the field after the Falcons’ fourth straight loss ( 31-13 loss to the New Orleans Saints) Sunday. The obscene gesture was in response to booing from the few fans who stuck around until the end of the game. (MSNBC)
Vick Family Flashback: Just over a year ago (Oct. 1, 2005), brother Marcus Vick, while leading Virginia Tech to 34-20 victory at West Virginia, and made an obscene gesture to fans who have been calling him names. Well, at least they weren't home town fans.

Quinnipiac University Basketball Players Investigated for "Urinating" Incident - Last spring, we featured members of the Quinnipiac baseball team on this site as part of our Dirty Dozen list of college sports initiations. Remember? Several of the guys were pictured dancing around in adult diapers and then there was a shot of a young woman lying on the floor covered in whipped cream? Well, the school that pretty much denied they had a problem with their jocks back then has another problem with their jocks . . . allegedly. According to local police, they are investigating two QU basketball players and an unidentified female freshman for an alleged incident on Oct. 19 in a dorm. According to the student newspaper, freshmen James Feldeine and Trevon Charles followed the woman into a men’s bathroom stall at the dorm and while one of them held the door shut, the other player allegedly . . . urinated on her. A statement released by the school said: "One student has been suspended from the men’s basketball team for the rest of the season. As a matter of policy, we do not discuss the details of any student’s discipline process." Sources claim it was Charles who was let go from the team. (New Haven Register) Thanks to Dave R. for the link!

"Auf zu Sieg! Auf zu Sieg!" For Some Strange Reason, Nazi Slogan Considered Inappropriate for American HS Soccer Team - This sure sounds like one of those "you coulda seen this one coming a mile away" stories. The boy's soccer coach at Forestview High School in Gastonia, NC wanted to find a way to motivate his players. A young German exchange student on the team suggested an innocent enough sounding phrase: "On to victory". In fact, he offered to teach the tougher sounding German version of it, which--according to our translation--comes out to "Auf zu Sieg!" To get the pronunciation just right though, the boys found an old speech containing that exact phrase and played it over and over again. It was an old CD of a speech given by some guy named Hitler. To top things off, as Charlotte Catholic High's team arrived at Forestview last Saturday night for an N.C. 3A playoff game, the players could hear da Fuhrer coming in loud and clear over the stadium PA system for a full 90 seconds! Naturally, some of the more sensitive players and their parents were upset after being greeted at another school by the biggest monster in modern history. As a result, an apology was faxed to CC by the embarrassed principal at Forestview Robert "Sgt. Shultz" Carpenter. Catholic coach Gary Hoilett, was not impressed with the fax, "The letter was lame. I get the feeling like, `OK, we messed up and we'll talk about it,' and that's it. You don't toss something like that to the corner. I can't tell them what kind of punitive measures to take, but it doesn't look like there'll be any. But hopefully we can all learn from this and some good can come from it." Yeah, like stealing your team slogans from good old fashioned American dictators instead of foreigners you commie! (Charlotte Observer)

Spitting Mad Wisconsin Chancellor Tells Badger Marching Band to Stop Hazing or He'll “Gut the Band and Start Over From Scratch,” Adds Cryptic "Fat, Drunk and Marching is No Way to Go Through Life, Son" Pearl of Wisdom - No one seems exactly sure what happened on the bus trip back from Ann Arbor, Michigan two weekends ago, but whatever it was it pissed off University of Wisconsin Chancellor John "No More Fun of Any Kind" Wiley to the point that he had a special meeting with the marching band on October 5 and threatened to put everyone on double secret probation. According to one report, the lecture focused on freshman hazing, including forcing new members to drink alcohol and passing down unflattering nicknames,  then quickly turned into a Dennis Miller-style rant on everything else. Said fluegelhorn rank leader Eric "Otter" Halverson, 22, "He talked about the fact that people wouldn't put us up in hotels anymore, which is not true. And bus companies wouldn't take us, which also isn't true. He pretty much told us we're under the microscope now and can't screw up any more or else we'll suffer severe punishment." The restrictions even include a near ban on all band-related parties. You know what that means? Time for a toga party. To-ga, To-ga, To-ga! (Capital Times)
BadJocks Update: U of Wisconsin Provides Laundry List of Alleged Hazing Activities by Its Marching Band - Earlier this week (see story below), members of the Wisconsin marching band questioned why Chancellor John D. Wiley had singled them out for a tongue lashing last week about their behavior on a bus returning from the game in Ann Arbor against the U of Michigan nearly two weeks ago. According to one band geek, "Yeah, we know how to have fun, but there's not really a lot of freshman hazing going on. Maybe there's an incident or two that are bad." The school claims the tipping point came during that trip when one freshmen's head was shaved and there were numerous reports of semi-nude dancing on the bus. On top of that, the school has also produced a laundry list of alleged acts of hazing and other bad behavior allegedly committed by the band over the past few years, and here are some of the highlights:
- A female band member was told to suck on a sex toy in an apparent hazing incident.
- Women were forced to kiss other women in order to gain access to bus bathrooms. 
- Women were forced to draw pornographic pictures for older male band members, recite obscene limericks or stories, and read aloud explicit accounts of their sexual preferences composed for them by others for older male band members. 
- Upperclassmen have been reported to have "taken over" the dorm rooms of freshman women, supplied alcohol and demanded they join in the drinking. 
Also, back in 2004, band behavior on the bus was so bad the driver was forced to pull over and call for police. And finally: the Athletic Department has allocated funds to allow cheerleaders and the dance squad to travel in separate buses whenever possible, so they will not be subjected to harassment by members of the marching band. (U of Wisconsin News) Thanks to Bruce O. for the link!

Oh the Horror! HS Principal Suspended for Six Days for Giving Soccer Player a Wedgie - Technically it was two days without pay and four days with pay (isn't that called vacation time?) but for Park High School (Montana) Principal Eric "Pull My Finger" Messerli it was a prank that almost cost him his job. According to the school district, Messerli was at a junior varsity soccer game back on October 5 when he allegedly grabbed a Park High senior's soccer jersey and pulling it over his head. He followed that by giving the boy a "wedgie" by pulling up on the waist band of his underwear. Earlier reports indicated it might have been an Atomic Wedgie, but that would have meant the waist band would have been pulled all the way over the victim's head, but that was not the case . . . thank God! Messerli now admits his mistake and plans to keep his hands in his own pants in the future. (Forbes)

Pet Owner: When My Dog Walks He Sounds Like a Bag of Shag Balls
Vet: That's Because He's Got 22 Golf Balls Inside Him, Fool!
- We all know that given the opportunity, dogs will eat just about anything. And most of us know that they love to chase balls. For one duffer in England, he noticed his dog, Diesel, was ill after taking him to the driving range for practice. The golfer even thought it sounded like golf balls inside the pooch, but it wasn't until the vet brought out a bag of 22 balls that Paul Kirkwood, 44, of Hamilton, Lanarkshire believed it was possible. Even vet Drew Crawford was impressed, saying the haul the most items he'd ever removed from an animal's stomach adding that, "When I opened up his stomach, they were just bouncing and clicking around." By the way, the headline in the original source reads, "Eating 22 Golf Balls Left Dog Under Par." Woof!  (The Daily Record)

NYU Golf Coach Resigns After Reports He Took Team to Strip Club During Florida Road Trip . . . Wait. NYU Has a Golf Team? - Even though he says it was all innocent, the head golf coach at New York University, Jay Donovan, was recently forced to resign after the athletics department learned he took the team to a strip club while they were in Florida last March for a tournament. According to Donovan, he got lost driving the team van and twice they passed the same strip club, and both time various team members asked to go inside. The coach relented and claims they were only in there one hour and that the school did not pay for anyone's drinks . . . although alcohol was consumed by an underage team member. The original story also goes into great details about the ongoing problems of the NYU golf team, especially with its star player and team captain John “Pepper” Pharr. If you ask us, the whole thing sounds like a bunch of rich crybabies with too much free time on their hands, taking advantage of an underpaid coach. (Washington Square News)

Now THAT'S a Party! Female Teachers Facing Charges--Including Possible Sexual Misconduct --After Wild Booze Party With Students Following State Basketball Title Win - It's always a big deal when a HS wins a state title and that was certainly the case when Ravenswood High School in West Virginia won the boy's state basketball championship in March. And, like most sporting victories of that caliber, parties are likely to follow, for both students and adults. The problem comes in when you combine both groups along with a healthy quantity of booze. That appears to have happened at Ravenswood and as a result, police have arrested three adults who allegedly threw the party, including teachers Jennifer Roush and Amy Wolfe who face four counts each of contributing to the delinquency of a child. They claim it was to be a small gathering until 25 students showed up. Police say that alcohol was provided to minors and that at least one of the female teachers was allegedly seen kissing several of the underage boys. Both teachers have been removed from the classroom and all three adults have been charged with aiding teen drinking, and could face time behind bars. (WTAP) Thanks to Will J. for the link!

Drunk Romanian Soccer Player Whips Out Gun During Game - Last week we had a story about a Bulgarian soccer player who stabbed the player who was sent in to replace him during a game. Now comes word from Romania that a soccer player who was pulled from a game for being drunk then tried to trip up linesman and players who ran past him on the sidelines. After one of those attempted trippings, a heated discussion ensued and the player, Ion Ciobanu pulled out a pistol. Fortunately, no one was shot, but police were called and Ciobanu was detained and fined and should be suspended from playing soccer for two years. (Bucharest Daily News)