Brothers Accused of Attacking Geezer Golfer Who Asked to Play Through Because They Were Slow - You read that correctly. A foursome of retirees at the NASA Golf Course at Moffett Field found themselves behind two inexperienced golfing brothers Ryan Maxwell Alexander, 21, and Charles Talmage Alexander, 20, who weren't playing very well. According to police reports, at one point the seniors asked to play through and the young men reluctantly agreed. Of course, they couldn't resist heckling the senior players as they teed off and eventually words were exchanged. And then, 61-year-old Edwin J. League did the unthinkable. He turned to the mouthy pair and said, "Son, we are just trying to play through." Whoa gramps! Now it's on, old dude! At that point the brothers began beating him, leaving League on the ground, curled up in a fetal position. The Alexander brothers tried to the flee the course but NASA police caught up with them and according to the arrested report, while cuffed and seated by the side of the road, Ryan Alexander said, "I don't beat up on my grandpa. He wasn't my grandpa, so I hit him." How profound. (ABC 7)

Star HS Kicker Still Plays in Big Game After Being Arrested for Pushing Police Officer . . . at a Haunted House? Must have been one heck of a haunted house! Ray William Canafax, 18, an all-star kicker for the Hartselle High School football team (Alabama) is in trouble after an incident at a homecoming haunted house last Thursday night. According to the female police officer who was working security at the event, Canafax kept trying to cut to the front of the line and also apparently didn't have a ticket. She claims she nicely asked him to go to the end of the line, but that he returned and "yelled words" that were offensive at the officer. Asked once again for his ticket, Canafax allegedly bumped the cop with his chest (never a good idea, even with a female cop) grabbed a plastic pumpkin that contained tickets already taken from other students, threw them all into the air and yelled "There's my ticket!" and ran to the parking lot. Not surprisingly, he was then asked to leave the school grounds. An interesting side note: even though the officer swore out a warrant for him on Friday Canafax was not arrested until Monday because the warrant came in late Friday evening. Too late to keep him from playing in the big homecoming game against Johnson High where he did kick an important field goal. (Decatur Daily)

Five HS Football Players and One Cheerleader Banned From Homecoming Because of Booze Party: Mom in Trouble for Hosting It - For six North Branford High School (Connecticut) student-athletes there will be no homecoming this year. Yes, the school is hosting a homecoming, but they won't get to participate in any activities including the big game and dance because they were caught--along with a bunch of other NB students- at a party where beer consumption was going on. To top things off, the mother of the kid who hosted the party is being charged under a new state law that just went into effect this month allows adults to be arrested for failing to halt possession of alcohol by minors. Yep, mom was home at the time. And before you dismiss this as a few kids who happened to steal a couple of cans of beer from some fridge, police report finding three thirty packs of beer at the party . . . enough for a good time for a pretty large group of teens, or Mel Gibson. (WTNH)

LSU Assistant Football Coach Arrested, Accused of Tricking Jocks Into Meeting Sports Agent - It seemed innocent enough. Louisiana State assistant strength coach Travelle Ernest Gaines, 26, to uh, talk and stuff. And, when they arrived, it just so happened that a prominent sports agent was there. (No details on what happened are given, but we like to assume that he popped out of a football-shaped cake and yelled "Ta-Da!".) And it also happens that doing so is against the law especially before they have graduated . . . or at least declared their intention to go pro. Campus cops earlier arrested sports agent Charles Taplin for attempting to contact student athletes and their investigation soon led them to Gaines. (Seattle Post)

Plot for Caddyshack III? Former Caddie, Pro Shop Employee, Lead Drunken Midnight Rampage on Country Club That Results in $35,000 in Damages - Carl Spackler would have been impressed with the damage. It sounds like it all started with a late night attempt to get some beer stored inside the clubhouse at Shackamaxon Golf and Country Club in New Jersey. When it was over, the pool locker room of the exclusive club was destroyed, the 15th fairway was marked with tire tracks and skid marks, and two golf carts were at the bottom of the swimming pool. The total damage estimate? $35,000! Repaying that is probably the least of the problems facing six young men aged 18 to 27 who admitted to the vandalism once they sobered up. Not surprisingly, two of the perps used to work at the golf course (a caddie and a pro shop employee) and may have had inside information about how to get inside after hours. When police first responded to the report of a break-in they found what appeared to be the remains of a beer-pong game gone horribly wrong on in the men's golf locker room, complete with a mighty collection of beer cans strewn about. They followed that path out to the pool where the could just see the windshields of the golf carts peeking out from the pool and saw extensive damage to the walls of the pool locker room . . . possibly caused by the damaged carts found nearby. From there they went to the darkened course where they found the six . . . along with a keg. The boys scattered but were quickly apprehended and now face burglary, criminal mischief, trespassing and underage drinking charges. (Star Ledger)

Brawl Breaks Out at Hockey Game, Ref Knocked Unconscious by Kick From Player's Skate - That's gonna leave a mark, isn't it? We've covered a lot of hockey brawls here on BadJocks over the years, but nothing quite as bad as what happened between the North West Calgary Athletic Association Bruins and the North East Athletic Association Canucks last Sunday. According to the league, the brawl started after a player came off the bench and sucker-punched an opponent. As the linesman was escorting the puncher to the locker room, an small fight broke out and the coaches were unable to keep their players on the bench. At some point, while he was trying to break up that fight, the ref was knocked to the ground and was somehow kicked in the head by a skate and knocked unconscious. Adding to the fun, a guy named Bob Eacrett, who's apparently the "Governor of the Calgary Junior Hockey League" (is he like the Grand Marshall in the Rose Bowl Parade?)  who just happened to be in attendance at the game, tried to help stop the fighting and was also knocked around. In the end, every player and coach on both teams have been suspended and those responsible for starting the melee could face a year's suspension all the way up to a lifetime ban from hockey. (Calgary Sun)

NJ Nets Rookie Shows Up Late to Own DUI Trial: Judge Asks, "Are You Not Taking This Seriously?" - Even if you're a hot shot rookie in the NBA, you still have to show up on time for your drunk driving trial . . . at least in Arizona where former Wildcat star Hassan Adams was fined $100 for showing up almost an hour late to the second day of his DUI trial. Apparently Adams had a problem with his ride. Anyway, the second day of the trial featured testimony from the arresting officer who had to administer the breathalyzer several times to Adams who complained that blowing into it was "hard to blow into." Poor baby. When he finally got it to work, the readings were 0.121 and 0.124, well over the legal limit. On the other side, Adams' legal team produced several experts who pointed to potential problems with these types of tests. (Arizona Daily Star)

Streakers Arrested at HS Football Game - Not much to report on this story, other than the fact that three 16-year-old boys, wearing nothing but ski masks, ran across the field during a weekend football game between the Snow Canyon High School game against Dixie High School in Utah. They managed to make it out of the stadium, but apparently didn't have the rest of their escape planned out to well, later realizing that being naked and wearing a ski mask makes you stand out in a crowd . . . especially in Utah. Several police officers who gave chase finally apprehended the trio who now face a number of charges. (KUTV)

Oh the Horror! HS Principal Suspended for Six Days for Giving Soccer Player a Wedgie - Technically it was two days without pay and four days with pay (isn't that called vacation time?) but for Park High School (Montana) Principal Eric "Pull My Finger" Messerli it was a prank that almost cost him his job. According to the school district, Messerli was at a junior varsity soccer game back on October 5 when he allegedly grabbed a Park High senior's soccer jersey and pulling it over his head. He followed that by giving the boy a "wedgie" by pulling up on the waist band of his underwear. Earlier reports indicated it might have been an Atomic Wedgie, but that would have meant the waist band would have been pulled all the way over the victim's head, but that was not the case . . . thank God! Messerli now admits his mistake and plans to keep his hands in his own pants in the future. (Forbes)

Four Members of Florida A&M Marching Band Arrested for Hazing

Kid Not Getting Enough Playing Time? Whip Out a Gun & Threaten the Coach, of Course - You know how the parents of college football players can get: they want junior to get in the game often so pro scouts can see the boy perform and maybe reward them--I mean him--with a big fat NFL contract. High school parents want college recruiters to offer their kids an athletic scholarship. So, at that level, we could kinda understand if some father got upset with the coach that his child wasn't getting enough PT. But a game of 5- and 6-year-olds? Yes, sadly, Wayne Derkotch, 46, is accused of pulling the gun last weekend during a game between the Oxford Circle Raiders and the Burholme Outlaws in Northeast Philadelphia. Cops say Derkotch pulled out a .357 during the game because his son wasn't playing enough. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but somehow the referee was also arrested after another altercation on the field that may have been related. Derkotch's been charged with aggravated assault, simple assault and reckless endangerment. (WNBC) At right, Wayne Derkotch's mug shot.

Iowa HS Jocks Suspended for Posting Boozing Pictures on Net - Hey kids! We've said it before and we'll say it again here on BadJocks: if you're going to get liquored up, don't take pictures of yourself doing it and post them publicly on the Web. That really makes it easy for adults to bust you. And that's exactly what happened to students at Knoxville High School (Iowa) who played on the football, volleyball, cheerleading teams and are now suspended. (WOI)

It's Time to Play "Steroid Jeopardy"
Alex, I'll Take "Excuses for a Positive Test for $73,000."
The Answer: Shawne Merriman's Attorney
Uh, What is a Tainted Supplement?
Correct!
- David "This Is a Huge Misunderstanding" Cornwell claims that a tainted supplement regularly taken by his client, SD Chargers LB Shawne Merriman, is to blame for him testing positive for steroids. If his appeal fails, Merriman will be out for four games, adding to the Chargers problems at the linebacker position where earlier this year outside linebacker Steve Foley was shot by an off-duty Coronado police officer when cops tried to stop him for DUI. Missing those four games will also cause Merriman to lose almost $73,000 of his $310,000 salary. (Chron.com)

HS Cheerleaders Arrested, Handcuffed, Patted Down After Prank - The cheerleaders for Air Academy High School in Colorado wanted to pull a prank on their rivals at Wasson High School before the big game last week. So, they stopped off at nearby Douglass Valley Elementary School (which apparently is on the way to Wasson) and draped white paper on the first five letters of the school's name, leaving it to read "ass Valley Elementary School." Unfortunately for four members of the squad, someone saw them do it and reported it to the police, who just happen to be Air Force security personnel, since this all happened on the Academy base. As parents and fans where filing into the stands, four squad cars pulled and and shocked onlookers watched as the girls were handcuffed and hauled away. Apparently at the station they also made them remove the laces from their shows and patted the gals down for weapons. Understandably, parents wonder if the police over-reacted and fans of this site wonder where's the video? (Denver Post)

Four Games, One DUI Arrest? Not a Good Shooting Percentage for New Kings Coach - His seat on the bench is barely warm and Eric Musselman, the new coach of the Sacramento Kings, has already been arrested for DUI, just hours after his team beat the Utah Jazz in an exhibition game. According to police, Musselman was pulled over about 2:15 a.m. after they saw him make a right-hand turn from the left-hand lane. Not a good idea, especially if there's another car in the right-hand lane. Musselman's BAC was only .11%, enough over the legal limit to get him busted, but not nearly enough to make the Top Twenty of the famous BadJocks BAC Rankings.You need at least a .23% to qualify there anymore. (ESPN)

#160! Former West Marion High School baseball coach charged with three counts of sexual battery. (Sun Herald)
#159! Caught in a Sting - Wrestling coach admitted to using school computer to repeatedly try to solicit sex over the Internet with what he thought was a 13-year-old girl and her 11-year-old friend. Yep, they were cops. (Sauk Valley)

Pet Owner: When My Dog Walks He Sounds Like a Bag of Shag Balls
Vet: That's Because He's Got 22 Golf Balls Inside Him, Fool!
- We all know that given the opportunity, dogs will eat just about anything. And most of us know that they love to chase balls. For one duffer in England, he noticed his dog, Diesel, was ill after taking him to the driving range for practice. The golfer even thought it sounded like golf balls inside the pooch, but it wasn't until the vet brought out a bag of 22 balls that Paul Kirkwood, 44, of Hamilton, Lanarkshire believed it was possible. Even vet Drew Crawford was impressed, saying the haul the most items he'd ever removed from an animal's stomach adding that, "When I opened up his stomach, they were just bouncing and clicking around." By the way, the headline in the original source reads, "Eating 22 Golf Balls Left Dog Under Par." Woof!  (The Daily Record)

HS Hazing Update: Columnist at SF Gate Sees Nothing Wrong With It - According to the Betting Fool, "Wedgies are a rite of passage for a young man, to be given and received with much discomfort and little hangover. Emotional scars? Please. Maybe your Fruit of the Looms will be scarred as "skid marks" are another part of the male teen experience." (SF Gate)

Latest HS Lawsuit: Parents File Federal Suit Against School District for Forcing Girls Soccer Team to Wear Protective Headgear - Last season, a player on the girls soccer team at Highland Park High School in Texas bumped heads with an opposing player and got a pretty nasty cut on her head. So this year, the coach decided that everyone on his team needs to wear protective headgear. That is, all the female athletes. The members of the boy's team are not required to wear them, which is leading to a federal discrimination lawsuit by several parents under Title IX. According to the team captain, the suit was filed because the girls were never notified and parents never approved the Full 90 headgear, and because the requirement is discriminatory adding, "The boys don't have to wear it [but] we're required to wear it and we're not even allowed to try out for the boys’ team." (Dallas Morning News)

Auto Racing Meets "Girls Gone Wild"? Australian Authorities Make Bold Decision to Nix Trying to Control Topless Women at Upcoming Indy Car Race - When Indy car racing comes to Australia this week, the cops will focus their attention on REAL lawbreakers and not women exposing their breasts in the stands, at least according to Police Commissioner Bob "Whip 'Em Out" Atkinson. In recent years race officials have received complaints during the Gold Coast Race from some fans about young women standing on balconies and rooftops exposing their breasts to spectators below. In fact, the practice has become so pervasive that two years ago an Australian army helicopter pilot was suspended after flying a "show us your tits" banner as he and his crew hovered over the race. Despite these incidents, the cops won't be going out of their way to arrest the gals, mostly they say, because by the time they spot the offending pair and make their way up the balconies, the women are already dressed when they arrive. So, like, how can they arrest them then? At right, a slightly censored pic of one of Australia's race fans going wild. (Fox Sports)

HS Hazing Update: Water Polo Coach Says Incident Where Kid Was Duct Taped to Stretcher Was NOT Hazing 'Cause Nobody Got Hurt - Apparently you can throw out school rules about hazing when coaches are involved because, well they know hazing when they see it and duct taping a kid to a stretcher and throwing condoms (unused ones) at his head is not hazing. Why? According to John David Deville, the former junior varsity coach for the water polo team at Palm Desert High School, "I think about somebody getting hurt (when I think of hazing). Not duct tape. He was willingly taped up. They were all laughing, even him." Oh, so I understand how. Someone has to break an arm or leg or maybe a concussion before it's REALLY hazing, right? Anyone still wonder why coaches may not be the best judge when it comes to determining if their players are hazing or not? (Desert Sun) See full story below.
More HS Hazing Fun: School Board Member Could Face Sanctions for Making T-Shirts Making Fun of Parents Who Brought Hazing Allegations About Football Team to Light

BGSU Suspends Gymnasts for Psychological Hazing Incident - Details are of the alleged incident are not available, but Bowling Green State University has barred its gymnastics team from taking part in a non-conference competition after a September hazing. (Beacon Journal)

Ever Wonder What the Biggest Sports Brawls of All Time Were? Sports Illustrated has the list and guess who's Number 1?

Thugs Beat Man Who Tried to Stop Them From Playing Soccer With Baby Hedgehog - This is one of those things that only seem to happen in the UK. Last week a man noticed a group of teens playing soccer with an unusual ball that turned out to be a baby hedgehog. When he asked them to stop the boys told him to "f*ck off" so he stepped in to retrieve the "ball." Bad move. One of the youths punched him in the back, but he still managed to get the animal to safety. The same gang of thugs is also accused of rugby tackling a roller-blader on a nearby bridge, and punching and kicking him in the head. (This is York)

Homecoming Streaker Upstages Crowning of King and Queen - It's the pinnacle of high school social calendar for some kids: being voted homecoming king or queen. At most schools it involves an elaborate ceremony at halftime of the game with all the finalists walking to the middle of the field to await the big announcement in front of family, friends and football fans. That is, until a naked man runs out onto the field right as they're reading your name and upstages you! That's exactly what happened in Indiana this past weekend at Wheeler High School when a sophomore boy stripped down to nothing but a ski mask and ran out onto the field. According to reports, he managed to escape to a nearby cornfield (it is Indiana after all), but several parents chased after him and the young hooligan was brought to justice. Happy homecoming! (Post Tribune)