English Soccer Star Beaten Up Over Topless Model - Ever hear of the "Page 3 Girls" at the British tabloid The Sun? Every day for years the rag has posted a picture on page 3 of some young lady topless and more recently at this not safe for work website. Not surprisingly, the gals who pose for those shots--and some appear on a regular basis for years--become famous around the UK, and that holds true for Keeley Hazell, a 19-year-old described by The Sun as a "34DD beauty." And all was well for Keeley until last weekend when she was at a party and hooked up with English soccer star Joe Cole, who plays for Chelsea. According to reports, the two were "getting along nicely" when another admirer of Ms. Hazell showed up, became enraged and beat the crap out of Cole, causing him to jump out a window in a bloody mess. He arrived at a nearby taxi stand with his shirt ripped off, without his shoes, money or phone. (National Post) At right, a picture of young Keeley on the cover of FHM magazine.

HS Football Player/Track Star Allegedly Involved With Female Teacher Who's Now Pregnant - Not exactly a HS Coach Sex Scandal, but it's along those same lines: a 17-year-old male athlete at Ayersville High School in Ohio was reportedly having an affair with Nicole Long, (pictured right) a married 29-year-old English teacher. According to police, the alleged sexual activity may have happened at Long's home last summer. School officials also noted in addition to being married, Long is also seven months pregnant . . . but they are quick to point out that they don' t think that issue is related to this case. (Let's see, last summer would have been June or July, it's now January, that's about seven months. Uh, oh.) According to one of the young jock's teammates, Long would call the 17-year-old on the bus while they were going to track meets. Long becomes the second teacher involved in a sex-related incident in the Ayersville district: Last month, the board suspended teacher Megan Espen without pay for allegedly showing a pornographic film during one of her Spanish classes. (WTOL) Thanks to Greg P. for the link!

NippleGate II? WWE RAW Diva Shows Off More Than Expected on Live Show During Simulated Sex Scene - Just in time for the Super Bowl! Another female nipple makes an appearance on TV and everyone's head exploding. We'll let the folks at BlogCritics.org set the scene for you: "For the most part, this five-minute segment between new WWE Champion Edge and his girlfriend Lita was un-involving. All of the major "action" was done under cover. However, after Lita removed her bra, the in-ring cameraman made a move around the bed to reveal the unthinkable: An actual female nipple peeking from underneath the covers on cable TV. It was obvious the crew knew that was a mistake and the black screen that followed proves it. The commentary crew quickly made sure to use the "It's live TV" excuse. The actual nudity occurred on screen for less than a second, and if you weren't watching closely, you likely missed it. It's quite similar to the Super Bowl moment a few years ago involving Janet Jackson, only Lita's nipple was uncovered." Unfortunately, the site had posted several stills that have since been taken down as a result of legal pressure from the WWE. On the other hand, this website still has at least one Not Safe For Work image . . . for now. You can see stills of the official "Sex Gone Bad" sequence at the WWE site (which looks like the scene got pretty hot, even without the nipple slip, especially with kids in the audience), and click here to watch the video for yourself. (BlogCritics.org) Thanks to Fark.com for the link!

Group Calls Bikini Calendar of Piston's Dance Team "Prostitution" - Technically, we guess they're right: the NBA's Detroit Pistons ARE making money off of women's bodies by selling calendar's featuring members of their dance team "Automotion" in bikinis. Apparently some people felt the gals were overflowing their swimsuits. The American Decency Association has started an e-mail campaign to pressure the Pistons into recalling it's girlie calendar on the grounds that it is "inappropriate for a team supported by families, women and young children." Barbara Rotary of Pontiac, Michigan alerted the group, adding  “To me, this is a form of prostitution. The Pistons are profiting from using women’s bodies this way.” For his part, Piston's president Tom Wilson said the calendar is artistic and tasteful and contains images anyone could see on the beach and besides, all profits go to charity. To order your copy and see pictures from it click here. (MSNBC)

Update: Teen Says Vick Threatened Them With Gun Believing Someone Had Called His Girlfriend a Bitch - Well, now that makes more sense! Marcus Vick coming to the rescue of a defenseless woman . . . or maybe not. One of the teenagers who say the former Va. Tech QB flashed a gun at him and several friends thinks the incident was over a woman. The young man claims he was inside the Suffolk, Virginia McDonalds when she came in and all he said was "How you doing?" She apparently left and had told her boyfriend in the parking lot that someone inside had called her a bitch. When the teens exited the restaurant, there was a man standing in the parking lot asking, "Which one of ya’ll called my girl a bitch?" It was at that point that one of them realized it was Marcus Vick and when they called out to him by named he hopped back into the car and ran off like a little girl. (Okay, we embellished that last part a little.)  (WVEC)
EARLIER: Marcus Vick Now Facing Gun Charges For Incident in McDonald's Parking Lot: Source Says Hamburglar May Have Put Him Up to It - Anyone now think it was a mistake for Virginia Tech to get this idiot out of their program? Police in Suffolk, Virginia have charged Marcus Vick with three counts of brandishing a firearm after an incident outside a McDonald's restaurant Sunday night. (At right is Marcus Vick's first, but probably not last, mug shot.) Apparently a woman called police claiming that her 17-year-old son said that Vick had pointed a weapon at him and two others during an altercation in the fast food parking lot. (Newer reports say that the teens main have been taunting Vick.)  After police investigated and talked to witnesses they secured three misdemeanor warrants against the younger brother of NFL star Michael Vick. Vick later turned himself into police and needs to post bond of $10,000. Brandishing a firearm is a Class 1 misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail and a $2,500 fine. (Baltimore Sun) Looking for the video of Marcus Vick stomping on that guy's leg? See picture and link below.

In case you missed it earlier, here's the Associated Press' nice timeline of Marcus Vick's, uh, "troubles" since he enrolled at Virginia Tech in 2002:
Sept. 2, 2003 — Suspended for one game by coach Frank Beamer for undisclosed reason.
Feb. 17, 2004 — Arrested without incident and charged with four misdemeanors — three for allegedly allowing the underage girls to have alcohol and one for allegedly having sex with a 15-year-old at a January party. Released on $2,500 bond.
May 14, 2004 — Convicted of three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and sentenced to 30 days in jail and fined $2,250. Found innocent of having sex with the 15-year-old.
July 3, 2004 — Charged with reckless driving and possession of marijuana after a traffic stop about 25 miles east of Richmond at 2:30 a.m. Police said he was clocked at 86 mph, 21 mph above the speed limit, and that the vehicle stunk of marijuana.
July 6, 2004 — Indefinitely suspended from football team for off-field problems.
Aug. 3, 2004 — Suspended from the university for the 2004 season on same day he pleads guilty to reckless driving and no contest to marijuana possession in New Kent. Is fined $300, has driver's license suspended for 60 days and is placed in a first offender program on the marijuana charge, requiring that he perform 24 hours of community service, undergo drug counseling and random drug tests, and give up his driver's license for six months.
Oct. 1, 2005 — Leads No. 3 Hokies to 34-20 victory at West Virginia, and makes obscene gesture to fans who have been calling him names related to past problems throughout the game. He apologized a day later.
Dec. 17, 2005 - Stopped for speeding and driving with a revoked or suspended license in Hampton, VA
Jan. 2, 2006 — Leads Virginia Tech to a 35-24 win over Louisville in Gator Bowl. In the game, he stomped on the left calf of Cardinals All-American defensive end Elvis Dumervil, the NCAA sacks leader. Claims the incident was accidental and that he apologized to Dumervil, who denies ever receiving apology.
Jan. 6, 2006 — Is kicked off team at Virginia Tech for legal trouble and unsportsmanlike conduct in Gator Bowl.
Jan. 9, 2006 - Arrested on charges of brandishing a firearm in McDonald's parking lot, and generally being a dick. (Okay, we made that last part up, but after you read everything else above, it sort of follows doesn't it?)

Wrestler Testicle Hazing Update: School Expels Three Boys Over Incident - It all allegedly happened on a team bus in suburban Chicago on the way back from a wrestling match: upperclassmen from Argo Community High School allegedly took members of the freshman team, one by one, to the back of the bus. According to reports, while two boys held down a victim, a third shoved his testicles in the victim's face. This on a bus crowded with teammates and as many as four coaches . . . who insisted they didn't notice anything unusual going on. As a result, the school has suspended three of the coaches and expelled three wrestlers over the incident. (Chicago Tribune)

#3! Cheerleading Coach Accused of Teaching Girls How to Perform "Sex Acts" During Sleepover - And you always thought high school cheerleaders already knew everything there was to know about sex! Wrong! Apparently there are certain "sex acts" that cheerleaders in rural Washington state are not up to speed on. So, what's a first year coach to do? Well, at a team-building sleepover held on December 20th for cheerleaders from Sultan High School, coach Katie Chase allegedly stepped in where parents and health teachers fear to tread and gave instructions to members of the squad on how to perform certain sex acts. We can only imagine that one young lady went home the next day and asked mom to verify the instructions because very quickly the police were alerted. After what must have been a thorough investigation, the cops determined that no laws were broken (other than possible "laws against nature"), then turned the investigation over to the school. Late last week, in order to avoid stirring things up further, Chase resigned as coach and was quickly replaced. When asked about the incident, school superintendent Al Robinson seemed more concerned about potential ridicule the cheerleaders might face in the future. We can only hope that no one sells foot long kielbasas at any away games. (Herald Net)

Dumbass of the Week? Hockey Mascot Sets Himself on Fire During Game - Okay, so almost any red-blooded male who's ever seen someone do the "fire breathing" trick thinks they can do it themselves. And why not? You pour something flammable in your mouth (probably not gasoline) breath out over a lit match and you're a rock star . . . or renaissance fair reject. So when John Robinson, who plays Puckhead, the unofficial mascot of the Johnstown Chiefs hockey team, decided to try out the stunt at a recent game, who was going to stop him? According to witnesses, Robinson poured a flammable liquid into his mouth and tried to light it. Of course, it didn't light, so he tried it a second time, but at that point more than his breath caught fire: he also set--I'm not making this up!--his fake beard and jersey fire. Fortunately a quick thinking arena employee rushed out to help him pull off his jersey as Robinson frantically tore off the beard. Fortunately for Robinson, in addition to the emotional trauma, he only suffered minimal face and chest burns.

Joe Pa's Faux Pas - Maybe it is time for Penn State football coach Joe Paterno to step down? According to Joanne Tosti-Vasey, the president of the National Organization for Women in Pennsylvania, Paterno made outrageous remarks about an alleged sexual assault and wants him to resign. Talking about Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, who had been accused of sexual assault and sent home before the Orange Bowl, Paterno said: "There's so many people gravitating to these kids. He may not have even known what he was getting into, Nicholson. They knock on the door, a cute girl knocks on the door. What do you do? Geez. . . . He's a heck of a football player, by the way." Penn State spokesman Guido D'Elia said Paterno made his remarks in the context of bowl-game distractions. "If you were present, you understood he meant no malice," D'Elia said.

BREAKING BAD JOCK NEWS: Virginia Tech Sends Marcus Vick Packing - Less than a week after he was seen on national TV stomping on the leg of a fallen opponent, Virginia Tech has dismissed often troubled quarterback Marcus Vick, younger brother of Atlanta Falcons star Michael Vick. According to reports, Marcus was stopped for speeding and driving with a revoked or suspended license in Hampton on Dec. 17 . . . but of course the school kept it quiet until AFTER the Gator Bowl. Sources claim that Coach Frank Beamer met with Vick and his mother in their Hampton Roads home and told them of the school's decision. Marcus only really played one year for the Hokies, having sat out all of the 2004 season for an incident involving alcohol and some underage girls in his dorm room. Gee, I wonder if he'll declare for the NFL draft now? (ESPN) Watch the video of it here.
EARLIER: Va. Tech Athletic Director: Marcus Vick's Leg Stomp of Opponent "Unacceptable" - The talented, but often troubled star quarterback for Virginia Tech may have gone to far this time. Despite earlier run-ins with the law for reckless driving, possession of marijuana and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, it might the televised stomping of a Louisville lineman's leg that does Michael Vick's younger brother in. Late in the first half in Monday’s Gator Bowl, Vick looked down, paused and stomped on the back of the knee of Elvis Dumervil after the play was over. Vick initially said it was an accident, but Hokies quarterbacks coach Kevin Rogers was upset enough about it to yell at Vick during the game and demanded he apologize to Dumervil afterwards. After taking a day to review the tape, athletic director Jim Weaver released a statement saying, “The unsportsmanlike conduct of quarterback Marcus Vick ... is unacceptable behavior and contrary to the Hokies Respect Campaign. Such on-field action is not reflective of Virginia Tech football nor of the values we hold at Virginia Tech. I and my colleagues in central administration are embarrassed, and this athletic administration will not condone such acts of unsportsmanlike conduct. We will review and assess this incident further and deal with it accordingly.” Word around campus is that Vick's future with the team, after being given "one last chance" last time is now considered "uncertain." (Virginian Pilot)