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Top HS Coach Sex Scandals of 2005
Top Naughty Cheerleaders of 2005
Top Naked Athletes of 2005
Strangest Stories from 2005

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#10: The "Ron Mexico" Incident
Woman Sues NFL Star Over STD, Claims He Used Silly "Ron Mexico" Alias - BadJocks took some flack early on for being one of the first websites to post a story about the Falcon's Michael Vick being sued by a woman after he allegedly gave her herpes. The message board we first linked to as a source suddenly pulled the page and we were pelted with messages from angry Atlanta fans accusing us of trying to smear their beloved QB. We stuck by our sources and also contacted our friends at TheSmokingGun.com and guess what they found? Yep, an actual copy of the lawsuit filed back on March 14 against Mr. Vick. In it, a Georgia woman by the name of Sonya Elliot claims that he gave her herpes in April 2003 after an unprotected encounter at the athlete's home in Duluth, Georgia. The lawsuit goes into great details about how the couple met, how often they had protected sex, and the one fateful day Mike didn't were a condom. Oh, and the fact that he never warned her about his allegedly contagious condition and didn't return her phone calls when she found out she was infected. Her suit insists that a pro athlete such as Vick had to have known from numerous required physicals and claims when confronted with the news about the STD that he admitted he had it, but felt embarrassed about telling her. There is no dollar amount attached to the suit, but given that Herpes Simplex 2 cannot be cured and--at least according to the lawsuit--is painful and frequently debilitating, you can bet she's going to want a pretty good chunk of change. There's also an interesting side note where she claims that Vick has been tested for herpes several times under the alias Ron Mexico. Not sure why, but it sounds like a goofy spy name to me. To be fair, anyone can file a lawsuit and it has not been proven that Vick actually has herpes or that he gave them to this woman. We'll keep you posted on the progress of the case though. Read the lawsuit for yourself here. (Thanks to TheSmokingGun.com for doing the leg work and to Fark.com for the graphic.) We expect the Falcon's "Ron Mexico" jersey to be a hot seller this season!

#9: Vikings Onterrio Smith Caught at Airport With Fake Penis - Don't you just hate it when that happens? You're minding your own business, trying to catch a flight and then those nosy airport screeners start poking around your carry-on bag and find your fake penis. You know, the one you got as part of the Original Whizzinator kit you bought to help you beat NFL drug testing procedures? You mean you don't have one? Then I guess Onterrio Smith of the Minnesota Vikings is not a regular reader of this site, because that's what allegedly happened to him at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport last month. According to authorities, they became concerned not only about the prosthetic penis, but the vials of white powder found in Smith's bag. Of course, he had an explanation for those: the powder was--I'm not making this up--dried urine for producing a clean urine test. He also had a bottle of pills labeled "cleansing formula" but ultimately told police he was taking the vials to "his cousin." (Anyone who has seen an episode of "COPS" has heard this one: A guy gets pulled over in a stolen car and tells officers it belongs to his cousin, whose name and address he can't remember.) What line of work is your cousin in Onterrio, that he needs a fake penis and vials of dried urine? For their part, the NFL--which likes to brag about its tough drug-testing policy--said in a statement that it wasn't sure whether there was any penalty for possessing a device designed to beat such a test. FYI - Smith already has two strikes against him in the NFL's substance-abuse program. More
BONUS: At right, a slightly edited picture from the Original Whizzinator web site demonstrating their product in action. Click here for the NOT SAFE FOR WORK version which made us laugh out loud when we first saw it. Available colors include white, tan, brown, black and Latino. Just in case you're considering ordering one for yourself or your cousin, the retail price is $150.00.
NFL Whizzinator Update: Players Say Vikings Smith Banned for One Year - Apparently the NFL didn't buy Onterrio Smith's claim that the drug cheating device that was found in his luggage in April was for his cousin. According to other Vikings players, Smith has been suspended for the entire 2005 season. All coach Mike Tyce would say is, "He's been excused from the rest of the off-season program and he'll be gone indefinitely. I really can't speak about any reasons why or when he'll be back. It's in the league's hands. We'll leave it at that." More

#8: Top Female African Track Star Says Unpaid Bill to Witch Doctor Caused Him to Slap a Penis on Her - Just last year, Samukeliso Sithole was being hailed as the next female athlete phenom from Zimbabwe having won seven gold medals in women's competitions in 2004 alone. She dominated in events ranging from distance running to the triple jump to the the shot put. That is, until a female teammate of hers saw her disrobing and discovered she had packed something extra: a penis. Of course, Sithole was immediately arrested when this occurred back in February but claimed she had a perfectly logical excuse: she was born a hermaphrodite, with both male and female genitalia, and her family had paid a medicine man to cast a spell to shrink up the penis so she could be only a woman. Well, somehow this witch doctor wasn't paid in full (How much are you supposed to tip a guy to vanquish your wiener? 10%? 15%?) and in retaliation he made Sithole's penis grow back. Of all the rotten luck! All she had to do, she told the court at her initial hearing, was pay him off in full and the penis would shrivel up and she could legitimately compete in women's' events. Well, the court in Zimbabwe actually waited a little while and in the mean time had to have not one, but two, doctors examine Sithole to determine that she was, in fact, all man. No female parts . . . they must have shriveled up by mistake. Despite the doctors findings, while awaiting trial Sithole claimed to have periods and feared becoming pregnant. She was ultimately charged with impersonation and causing psychological damage to fellow athletes and was sentenced to four years in prison . . although while she was awaiting trial, court officials let her out on bond because they couldn't decide whether to put her/him in a men's or women's facility. (At right, the best picture we could find of Samukeliso Sithole. Is that a fake camel toe I see?) AllAfrica 
BONUS: Rare pictures of Sithole in action (samkeliso sithole)

#7: Minnesota Vikings "Love Boat" Sex Scandal - How do you sum up all the stories related to this one? We'll just include the original story that we posted in October and then link to our special page on the subject if you want to read more.
Lawyer Claims Minnesota Vikings Boat Cruise Featured Nudity, Lap Dances, and "Sexual Acts With Toys in the Middle of the Floor" - Either the Vikings really know how to throw a party or the owners of a lake cruise company have some pretty wild imaginations. Details are just now surfacing about an alleged "traditional team event" that took place last Thursday night on Lake Minnetonka aboard two boats chartered from a place called Al and Alma's, by cornerback Fred Smoot and another Vikings player. According to Stephen Doyle, a lawyer representing the the charter company, the cruise quickly evolved from a simple event with 16 to 17 players in attendance to an out-of-control party that included lap dances and sexual acts. In fact, the Hennepin County Sheriff's Department is investigating allegations of criminal sexual conduct by several Vikings players after a woman--who claimed she was working as a hostess on the ship--called police making allegations of "possible prostitution, drugs and live sex acts" on the two boats. Doyle got more specific than that: 
"They were out for a bit, and then the crew was serving drinks and hors d'oeuvres and stuff. I think the first thing they noticed was some of the women that were on board seemed to be either changing clothes or undressing. And then they went into a galley, and there were three of them in the nude that were changing clothes. That was followed by them coming out and some of them doing lap dances.... That's where it started, and then it just progressed to just bizarre."
At that point Doyle claimed the crew reported what was happening to the captain of each boat who called the home base and were told to come back in. That's when things got really out of hand:
"Some of the Vikings are yelling at the waiters and waitresses... and wanting drinks faster and trying to take over parts of the bar, trying to pour their own drinks.... It's just really bizarre, bad, terrible behavior. Like I said, these kids are petrified. They're afraid for their own safety. There are people doing sexual acts with toys in the middle of the floor. They're on a boat here, having to walk around and serve a drink, afraid to stop serving drinks because they're afraid that people will hurt them. It's just really unacceptable what they did -- the arrogance and the rudeness and all of those things combined. They get them into the dock and eventually get off the boat. We're talking about a scene with used condoms on the boats laying around, handy wipes used by the women laying around, drinks thrown and poured in places. It's amazing."
When contacted, Smoot not only denied the charges but went on to say that "It's slanderous. If (Doyle is) bringing my name up like this, I'm going to sue them. Other than that, I ain't got nothing else to say." We really expect things to start heating up for the Vikes when the names of some of the other players start popping up. (Monterey Herald) Thanks to James Hudson for the link!

#6: HS Coach Only Suspended After Being Caught on Tape Moving Down Marker During Game - Anything to win? You get the sense that it's okay at San Pedro High School in California, just listen to one of the players who just found out his coach cheated: "We're still league champions," said Joey Padilla, a SPHS football player. "It ain't nothing. We would have had that first down, no matter what. Besides what the coach did, or whatever, he just wanted us to win." Actually, Joey, if you watch the video, you'll see that you wouldn't have gotten the first down if assistant coach Paul "Don't Call Me Bear" Bryan hadn't moved the first down marker back on your team's fourth and final attempt to make a first down against Gardena High School during the Oct. 28 game. As a result of the cheating, officials gave SPHS a first down and the team went on to score a touchdown. This brazen act just came to light after another school who videotaped the game as a scouting tool turned the evidence over to SPHS Principal Diana Gelb who promptly . . . suspended Bryan for one year but let him stay at the school as a teaching assistant. Suspended and not fired? And she didn't forfeit the game or the resulting championship? Yeah, that sends a clear message to the kids Ms. Gelb. In his defense, Bryan told a local newspaper, "It happened, I wish it hadn't happened. It was stupid." And if you watch the clip and look at the stills, this clearly wasn't an "oops, I bumped the marker s a few inches" situation. You can clearly see Bryan squatting down next to the marker as the play starts, then as officials rush to mark the ball he stands up and picks the marker up with him, moving it several feet back . . . virtually guaranteeing the first down. (NBC4 - Link includes video clip.)

#5: Shocker! LPGA Caddie Claims Lady Golfer Stole His Sperm!
In probably one of the strangest stories every to be reported here on BadJocks, Gary Robinson, 26, the former caddie of LPGA golfer Jackie Gallagher-Smith, 37, is suing his former boss, saying she seduced the poor bastard in order to get pregnant. More specifically Robinson claims Gallagher-Smith, who is married, used him as "an unwitting sperm donor" and is suing for an unspecified sum, claiming fraud and intentional infliction of emotional distress. According to Robinson's attorney, Cathy Lively, under Florida law a child born into a marriage is deemed to be a result of the marriage, so a DNA test can't be forced to determine paternity and Robinson has no legal claim to the child. In the lawsuit, Robinson claims he and Gallagher-Smith started flirting on tour, then the flirting turned into frequent unprotected sex over several months. (What no clean driver covers lying around?) He says that Gallagher-Smith told him she and her husband had been unsuccessful in conceiving a child, but that last July, she announced she was pregnant and led him to believe he might be the father. For his part, Gallaher-Smith's husband thinks the baby is his. One unconfirmed story claims that during a tournament last year, Gallagher-Smith's biological clock was ticking so loud, the gallery asked HER to be quiet. (At right, a picture of Jackie Gallagher-Smith.) Thanks to Phil Runge for the link! More

#4: (Tie) Drunken Lady Bodybuilder/Pro Wrestler Punches Elderly Husband, Bites Cop's Hand - According to Nicole Bass's husband, the 6'2", 230 female bodybuilder and frequent WWE lady wrestler (yes, that's her at right) is "a sweetheart", who "wouldn't hurt anybody." That is, until she starts hitting the bottle. According to a story in the NY Post, Bass started drinking half a gallon of vodka a day to numb the pain after failing to fill her prescription for the painkiller Oxycontin, used to treat her severe pancreatitis. Her 57-year-old husband, Robert Fuchs who claim to have had three heart attacks, became concerned after Bass allegedly hit bottom and threatened to "take a bunch of pills" and "slit her wrists." When he tried to call 911, she punched him several times in the chest, but eventually officers arrived and tried to get her some help. Their thank you? Bass allegedly bit one of them in the hand, but Fuchs claims that was an accident when she--I'm not making this up!--chomped down on the officer's hand as she fell on the stairs and he reached to help her. Uh, okay. Bass will remain in the Elmhurst Hospital's psychiatric unit for the next 72 hours. It's not the first time Bass, who bills herself as "the largest woman bodybuilder in the world", has done some biting: she pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct after biting the thumb of a cop at the San Gennaro feast in 2000. (At right, a current photo of Ms. Bass from her website. Click on image for larger view . . . if you can stomach it) More (registration required) straightjacket 

#4: (Tie) Well, Now I Can See Your Nuts! After Loss, HS Baseball Coach Whips Out Own Bat and Balls, Asks Players "If They Had a Set of These" - Lazer Callazo, the baseball coach at Gulliver Prep in Miami, Florida resigned Wednesday, a week after an alleged incident of "improper behavior" involving his players came to light. According to a police report, after a loss to Florida Christian on April 7, Collazo dropped his pants, took out his penis and accused his players of not having the balls to play baseball. More specifically, according to the report, he ``pointed to his penis, testicles and asked the team if they had a set of these or were they equipped with a vagina.'' Callazo told a local newspaper, "'I am doing it for the kids and I am doing it for the school." While this is his first problem at Gulliver Prep, Callazo allegedly lost a similar job at the University of Miami after paying players to work at his baseball camp, a violation of NCAA rules. Not exactly a "Win One for the Gipper" locker room speech, but you have to admit, it was probably memorable! (Thanks to Dan Luka for the link!)

#3: Technically not a "bad jock" story, but this guy did something so amazing he has to get credit for it somewhere . . . and we wanted all of our male readers to cringe one more time at this headline: Soccer Player Repairs Own Bloody Penis, Returns to Game to Score Goal - Yes, you read that headline correctly and I'm not sure whether to call this guy a hero or a complete dumbass. Here's the basic story: Chavdar Yankow is a German soccer player for the team from Hannover. In a match over the weekend against Frankfurt a rival player kicked him in the groin. Said Yankow, "I ran towards the ball and my opponent, the Frankfurt striker Köhler, kicked his foot into my penis." Ouch! He felt some pain, but didn't really notice anything unusual until he went to the sidelines and noticed his shorts were full of blood. A quick trip to the locker room revealed the source of the crimson fountain: a four centimeter gash (about an inch and a half) on his penis! And here's where the story REALLY gets weird! Most guys would have passed out at that point and ended up in a hospital emergency room (I passed out the first time I read the story) . . . but not Yankow. He claims to have--I'm not making this up!--glued the wound closed and put a plaster on it. In the second half he was able to return to the field and not only play but scored the game-sealing second goal for Hannover which won 2-0. At right a picture of Chavdar Yankow in action. (Source - Eurosport.com) Thanks to Fark.com for the original tip to this story!

#2: You're Kidding, Right? Bulgarian Gay Sex Soccer Scandal Takes Strange Turn With Inclusion of . . . a Goat? - Last fall, the Bulgarian News Agency reported that four male soccer players have been expelled from their club in Varna, Bulgaria, for having sex in the team locker room and "damaging the club's reputation." That in and of itself would not really qualify this as a BadJocks story. However, further investigation reveals that this might not be an isolated incident and that some of the players involved are more "colorful" than you might expect. According to OutSports.com, after the MAX team lost 2-0 last week and the players were slow in coming out (no pun intended) of the stadium, a trainer for the host team went into the locker room and saw the team captain, identified as "Stefan," groping the testicles of the three teammates, adding that  “He was overcome with caressing them and was paying too much attention to them." (How much attention does one pay to his teammates testicles before it becomes "too much?")  When told of the incident, the MAX coach admitted that Stefan had solicited him on at least one occasion, adding, “It seemed to me that Stefan wanted to be intimate and establish a closeness with me, but I sleep with women.” According to the report by MAX officials, it is also not the first time this foursome has done something like this: "They [the four teammates] are a bunch of big homos. They have been caught doing this before, but the coaches thought that it was just drunken horseplay.” It goes on to say that this all started at a bar called Martinitza, where the manager "found the owner of the team with two transvestites and Anton, who is a homosexual gypsy singer."  After this most recent incident in the locker room, the coach suddenly remembered another situation at a formal banquet at which the captain (Stefan) placed his hands on three teammates. “I thought they were just drunk,” said the coach. To top it all off, the coach blurted out that, “Stefan was the leader of the group, and he has in his file that he was accused and found guilty of consorting with a goat at the age of 15." (OutSports.com) Thanks to Fark.com for the link!

#1: Bad T-Ball Coach  - A coach in a Pittsburgh area T-ball league, Mark R. Downs Jr., was charged with offering one of his players $25 to hit a mentally disabled boy on his own team in the head with a baseball. Why? To keep the kid out of the game in a league that requires every player to play at least three innings, regardless of their skill level. After the offer was allegedly made, the disabled boy was hit in the head AND in the groin with a baseball just before a game and didn't play, Well, Down's attorney has come out and claimed his client is categorically innocent and offered this explanation: "Mr. Downs has never requested any individual to assault (the boy), ... has never denied him the opportunity to play, and has children of his own and would not harm any child." According to Shaffer, during a previous game, Downs had been cautioned by an umpire about venturing onto the field and had remarked to the entire team in jest, "Anybody who can line drive the ref with a ball, I'll give you $25." Yeah, that makes me feel much better about him coaching kids. (USA Today)